We are a very young blog, but we have come a long way in the last few days and it is time to move on to bigger and better things. So we got our agent to circulate rumours that we were unhappy and looking for a transfer, and he has come up trumps.

We would be delighted if you would join us at www.offthepost.info. We are still getting settled in there, but we will be scoring screamers and kissing the badge in no time.

Thanks,

Rob

No, you quit first, honey

And we were all busy watching Kevin Keegan. Llewellyn Charles ‘Alan’ Curbishley has quit as manager of West Ham. The Hammers boss was thought to be heading for the sack before Saturday’s 4-1 win over Blackburn. But it is thought the club’s decision to sell defender George McCartney to Sunderland on transfer deadline day without managerial consent has caused him to quit as boss.

Curbs has said that decisions made “without involving me”, were “a breach of trust and confidence meaning I had no option but to leave.” Hammer fans, what do you make of this?

He may be England’s saviour, but he is a smelly saviour! Here is Bullard in his Peterborough days attempting to conduct an interview. Unfortunately, he happens to let rip shortly before the first question and the interview descends into farts farce.

WE HAVE MOVED. JOIN US AT www.offthepost.info

The old 1-1-3-5

From information leaking out of Manchester City about their new owners’ transfer targets, The Spoiler has cleverly summised Manchester City’s future formation. It looks a bit defensive on the right-flank, if you ask us! Although the Dracula-esque keeper might be a bit dodgy with crosses. Ho-ho!

I don’t know if Everton fans should be embarrassed to read this or relieved that at least David Moyes and Bill Kenwright are trying to sign new players. Unfortunately, their bid for Juventus midfielder Tiago literally went down the pan when the midfielder locked club president Cobolli Gigli in the toilet to avoid being sold. The Portuguese players was so furious with Juve’s attempts to flog him to Goodison Park that he locked his boss in the loo. The toilet-bound president only secured his freedom an hour later when Alessandro Del Piero came to his rescue!

Gigli said: “The story of me being locked in the toilet by Tiago is true. It’s a shame it got out, as this was something I told a friend in confidence. In any case, Alessandro Del Piero responded to the noise of me punching the door and offered to break it down. I told him it was better if someone else did it, as he needed to keep his shoulders in good shape for the Fiorentina game.”

Read this, make your mind up and leave a comment once you have decided. In the meantime, here is the man in action.

Nobody seems to know whether Kevin Keegan is staying or going, so I am not even going to attempt to unravel that one at the moment. For now we will focus on the attempts of a pair of Newcastle fans to convince King Kev to stay at St James’ Park through the medium of what appears to be a curry-stained sheet. Surely it is only a matter of time before Clinton Cards stock them: “Say it from the heart with a curry-stained sheet.“

Mirror hack rabbiting on

It seems Robinho’s move to Manchester City surprised even the most insider of football insiders. The Mirror’s so-called Football Spy Darren Lewis vowed on transfer deadline day that if the pint-sized Brazilian didn’t join Chelsea he would prevent the following day’s video in a bunny outfit. Oops!

Magpies and Keegan part company

It is a sad state of affairs. What a sham Newcastle United is at the moment. Did I say at the moment? I meant since they last parted company with King Kev. Mike Ashley should get his fat head out of his pint and take a reality check. Keegan parted company with one of his brightest assets last week when James Milner left for Aston Villa, and come transfer deadline day the board – the same board who were angry when he said the Magpies would struggle to break into the top four – backed him with less than £6 million on what is effectively a punt on a relatively unknown Spanish striker.

No wonder Keegan was fed up. Newcastle fans must now be wishing the Abu Dhabi investment group had finalised a deal at St James’ Park instead of moving on to Manchester City. Can anyone other than Alan Shearer follow King Kev?

As spotted on The Spoiler, some one with a dislike of Dennis Wise (that narrows it down then) has vandalised his Wikipedia page with a very naughty word. Of course, an overlooked aspect of the Joey Barton saga is how could Newcastle have sacked their errant midfielder with the renowned cabbie-biter upstairs? That’s right, they couldn’t.